Today, my husband and I have been married for ten years. 3,650 days. And really, it doesn’t seem like it’s been a day over 9 years and 233 days, unless you’re counting the Saturday mornings I am forced to watch shows about deer and bow hunting. Or the Saturday nights where I must walk away from “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” for the 63rd time. It is then that it seems as if we’ve been together forever. As if somehow one of my worst fears has come true – that I am stuck in a vortex of time that may never end. Kind of like the movie “Groundhog Day.”What I have learned over the last 10 years is that marriage requires compromise. Like learning to incorporate not one, but two, whitetail deer mounts into my living room décor. And watching South Park instead of HGTV. And resisting the urge to put that spoon into the dishwasher, because he insists that there should be an ‘only-one-spoon-per-day’ rule in our house. Meaning that the spoon he used to stir his coffee is also the spoon that he will leave sitting on the counter to eat his soup with, rinse, and then leave sitting there on the counter to eat his ice cream with while watching South Park. And this spoon that is sitting on the counter throughout the day does not bother me at all. That spoon sitting right there on the counter next to the sink. Nope, not one little bit.
Many unexpected twists and turns have come our way over the past several years. Some we’ve handled with grace. Others, not so much. And although things have not turned out the way I had envisioned, we are still here. We are still committed. And I love him now more than ever. I have learned that along with finding the middle ground, love and loyalty are the foundation of a strong marriage. That, and accepting the fact that I will become a widow for one week each and every fall during deer season. Compromise.
I suppose that what I really want to say is that I have been blessed . God has blessed me with a man who may at times drive me crazy with his love of hunting shows and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (oh, and leaving that spoon sitting on the counter), but who also loves and supports me, and gives me strength when I need it most. He is accepting and forgiving of my faults and he never makes me feel guilty in my moments of weakness. His heart is my shelter and his arms, my home.
I only hope that I am half the gift to him that he is to me.
“…I give you my promise that from this day forward, you shall not walk alone. May my heart be your shelter and my arms your home. With this ring, I bring to you all that I am and all that I have; I give you my heart, for I have no greater gift to give. I promise I will always love you, and strive to perfect that love. I thank God for the love we have found, and I thank you.” - December 4, 1999
