And They Ate Wheat Thins & Pink Bubble Gum for Breakfast

There are those rare mornings that I just need to sleep in past 6:13 am for mental stability and rejuvination. So, I will choose to lay in bed for an extra hour. The purpose of "rejuvination" and mental rest are quickly overcome when, at 7:13 am, I am finally ripped out of my slumber with an earpiercing shriek and a dramatic cry of "Brrryyyyyyyynnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!" Alarm clocks are just not really needed in our house. Unless you are attempting to wake up before the children, of course.

Here are just a few of the things my children can accomplish during my hour of sleeping in:

1. Scatter a herd of My Little Ponies from one end of the house to the other (I guess we practice pastural grazing in our house).
2. Make a sweet blanket fort between the two living room chairs, complete with a Disney Princess roof and an every-pillow-in-the-house-except-the-two-that-I-am-sleeping-on protective wall.
3. Place small stacks of books in random locations throughout the house. Why? Mail deliveries, of course!
4. Unroll half the roll of toilet paper. And then try to roll it back up so that Mama won't notice.
5. Post an entire stack of Post-It Notes on the bedroom doors and living room coffee table.
6. Review our collection of DVD's (for the 456th time) and leave the movies precariously stacked 23-inches-high in front of the TV.
7. Leave scribblings and love notes on the the stack of bills Mama left by the computer at 11:45 pm last night.
8. Break out the box of Wheat Thins and eat twice their weight in crackers.
9. Follow the breakfast of champions up with a shot of pink Bubble Gum.

All before 7:13 am. Amazing. Truly. Sleeping in for an hour may not be the wisest parenting decision I made this week. It seemed like a fantastic idea at the time. Now, in light of the aftermath, not so much.

Reasons to Wake Up Before 6:13 am, Reason #16

And then there was the morning I realized that the Pretty Princess Make-Up Kit from Aunt "RoRo" needs to be kept under lock and key. At. All. Times.

I just know that Tammy Faye is so proud right now. I mean who wouldn't be envious of this stunning makeover? Soft, supple, smooth skin and creamy, bubblegum pink makeup - it's like a dream come true!

Reasons to Wake Up Before 6:13 am, Reason # 2

Reasons To Wake Up Before 6:13 am, Reason #12

Playdoh.

Reasons To Wake Up Before 6:13 AM, Reason #31

6:30 am: Walk into bathroom to wash face.

6:30:23 am: Faint smell of something...what is that?

6:30:29 am: Really, what IS that...I know that smell but can't seem to place it. Weird.

6:31 am: Do a lightning-speed flip through the little rolodex of odors in my head. Cleaning product? No - not strong enough. Toothpaste. No - not sweet enough. Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm. No - not minty enough. It is more chemical, more...

6:31:10 am: Then I look down. Oh - nail polish...that's the smell that absolutely does not belong in my bathroom at 6:30 am. In "Rose to the Occasion" pink. On my ceramic tile floor. With a little trail leading out to the hallway. Awesome.

6:31:19 am: Follow the bright pink trail of lacquer to the second bathroom where a little girl is frantically scrubbing her tiny little fingers with a tiny little piece of toilet paper covered in a whole bunch of Kandoo Jungle Fruits soap - extra foamy. Fantastic.

6:31:23 am: Process a plan of action to clean the streaks of "Rose to the Occasion" (and boy did she ever) off of her legs, her stomach, her face, fingers, and toes at a time of the morning when I can hardly manage the monumental task of actually removing myself from my down comforter that is oh so comfy...

6:31:30: A sponge bath with nail polish remover ought to do the trick. That and training myself to wake up before Brynn. Her internal alarm clock (which she never, ever hits the snooze button on) goes off at 6:13 am - everyday, rain or shine, late-to-bed or not - it's amazing! But early. Early.

I have to give the diva some credit where credit is due, however. She did manage to remove the nail polish cap without spilling it all over the floor (otherwise, this story would have a dramatically different tone). And if you look close, she did a fairly decent job of full coverage on her nails.

And the cuticles. And in between the fingers and toes...