If Only You Knew What A Pain It Really Is

I was reading my friend Jesusita's blog this evening in which one of her posts reminded me that we both belong to an exclusive club: The Order of the Natural Curl. Oh, I know that all of you straight-hairs are saying: "I wish my hair would do that," "It must be so nice to have curly hair, mine just lies there," blah, blah, blah, I've heard it all...

If only you were able to experience for just one month the wonder of naturally curly hair. You might not be so sure about committing to a lifetime worth of an extremely limited range of hairstyles (two, maybe three) . And always having to buy just the right shampoo and conditioner to "accentuate the curl" (read: tame, control, beat into submission). And the styling products that are not too heavy or oily or dry, and are able to give some hold, but don't make your hair crunchy or fluffy. If it's a mousse or gel - I run away. Fast. Serums and creams are my good friends - whoever invented these gems definitely deserves an award of some kind.

Oh, and frizz - definitely NOT a curly girl's best friend.

Please don't get me wrong...I am absolutely sure that I could NOT do the straight hair thing everyday. I do, or rather, have learned to love my curly hair - it has kind of physically defined me for many years. Although I will on occasion spend the 3 + hours to blow my hair out straight - just to have it start kinking up 30 minutes later, because, hey, I have nothing better to do with my time.

I guess the best part of natural curl is that with the wonders of humidity and frizz, it is pretty easy to blame the weather for a bad hair day, and women actually believe you. I mean, how can a straight-hair possibly question a curly-hair about the validity of such statement?

I must admit that, for the most part, curly hair is easy. Easy as in trying to hold a grasshopper easy. But, once you learn that it has a mind of its own and it (and only it) is in control and will ALWAYS win, you've got it made. That kind of easy.

Very easy. Until you need to get it cut. I think the number one rule of The Order of the Natural Curl is: Thou shalt not allow a stylist to touch your hair unless they are licensed, bonded, and insured and have a magic wand that can be used to replace the 2-inches of wet hair that was cut and now that it is dry appears more like 10-inches were removed.

I speak from experience - I have had one stylist cut my hair since I was 12. Not for the past twelve years, but since I was TWELVE! As I have moved around Arizona, I have found it necessary to find back-ups, but not without a thorough background check and a strict interview involving lots of questions like: Do you know who Bozo the clown is? Well, don't make me look like Bozo. Seriously, do you really know who Bozo is? Do you have a picture of him in your mind? What are your credentials? Is your hair naturally curly? What about your sister's hair - is hers? What about your great-great-grandmother - did she have naturally curly hair? Have you ever been sued for making someone look like Bozo? Do you own a magic wand?

Curly hair: it's not all it's cracked up to be.